1 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,670 ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love 2 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,677 ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy... ♪ 3 00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:23,243 Well, not so much of a guy, more of a girl, actually. 4 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:26,844 Freddy the Phone, my absentee landlord, called from Spain. 5 00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:29,616 Would I housesit for the rest of the year? 6 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,954 Business premises included. 7 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:37,126 - What's all this? - Management meeting. 8 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:40,030 And as MD, you should be in the chair, Lovejoy. 9 00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,158 MD? 10 00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,731 Roped you in as well? 11 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:50,300 This Dalrymple job, worth a mint. It's a whole house, you know. 12 00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,140 Oh, I'm very beholden to you, Janey. 13 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:56,740 - Yvonne Dalrymple is a very good friend. - You told me that. Could murder a cuppa. 14 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,115 Tea and biscuits at 11:15. 15 00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:07,982 Right. 16 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,461 Now, before we start, I'll need your P45. 17 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:14,900 Now we've reformed the group as Lovejoy Associates, we've got to be business-like. 18 00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:17,562 Right? Right? Right. 19 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:20,505 Excuse me, Eric. Where did he get this from? 20 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,506 - From his girlfriend. - She's an economist. 21 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,842 (Tinker) She's a PhD. 22 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,041 Ah, I see. Carry on. 23 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,380 We're wasting time. 24 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:34,648 From now on, things are going to be done properly. 25 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:36,655 Fiscally responsible. 26 00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:37,917 I'm all in favor. 27 00:02:37,957 --> 00:02:41,620 Might save me from having to dip into my ever dwindling capital. 28 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:45,463 Now, by rights we should start with the company secretary - 29 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:48,433 that's me - reading the minutes of the last meeting. 30 00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:53,633 - What's stopping you? - There are no minutes. 31 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:57,336 In fact there was no last meeting. In fact there was no meeting at all. 32 00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:58,366 Tricky. 33 00:02:58,411 --> 00:03:03,007 So we shall move on to item three on the agenda - financial planning. 34 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,142 Now, I've contacted the bank... 35 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,119 - What? - I've contacted the bank. 36 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:10,816 You don't contact the bank. They contact us, if they can find us. 37 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,951 I should tell you, Lovejoy, that Lady Jane approves. 38 00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:19,321 The bank's small business advisor is going to come and see us. 39 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:24,359 - How small? - Lovejoy, no, I'm sorry, flippancy is out. 40 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,463 - This small? - It's out. 41 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:27,837 - This small? - Out. 42 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:33,377 I'm sorry, Eric, I thought business was fun. 43 00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:37,847 If we open an account with them, we get free banking for the first year 44 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,317 if we stay in credit. 45 00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:41,718 What do you mean? We've never been in credit. 46 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:44,450 The banks have credit, not their customers. 47 00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:48,153 Lovejoy, I haven't chucked in a career in security with substantial prospects 48 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:50,287 to fanny around being the office boy. 49 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:53,993 Right then, you see Tiny Tim from the bank. 50 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:57,764 Take whatever it is he has to offer, be it a free camera, a calculator, 51 00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:00,739 a free membership to the Ethiopian RAC. 52 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:02,764 - I'm off. - Where to? 53 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:06,711 That's none of your business. You all know I do not work on Friday afternoons. 54 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:09,943 Lovejoy, the Dalrymples. You said you'd be there. 55 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:13,646 - I will. - (Jane) An entire house to furnish. 56 00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,619 (Car radio) 57 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,088 The M25 is jammed solid, poor sods. 58 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,360 And the forecast, kids, is peachy. 59 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,765 - Whey-hey! - I should have warned you, Victoria. 60 00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,497 A weekend with Teddy and Monday will seem pure pleasure. 61 00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:33,903 With all this grub and booze? You don't fool me. 62 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,736 - Essex need another 15. - Cricket? Urgh! 63 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,337 Can't appreciate it unless you've played it. 64 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,280 I have and I still say, "Cricket, urgh!" 65 00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:44,306 (Car engine revving) 66 00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:50,077 Hello. 67 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,752 - They wouldn't let you land that in New York. - They should be so lucky. 68 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:57,661 Lovejoy. Edward Carr. Welcome to Manderley. 69 00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:59,892 Oh, yes, the film buff. 70 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:04,164 Should it rain, I promise you the hoariest collection of old videos in East Anglia. 71 00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:07,604 Laura, minus the last ten minutes. Do you remember Laura? 72 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,108 ♪ Laura, la-di-da da... ♪ 73 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,806 Just getting exciting then bang, they're running out the covers at Wimbledon. 74 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,837 That can be pretty exciting too, you know. 75 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,077 Lovejoy. Was it you making that din? 76 00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:19,448 No, it was him. 77 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,623 - This is Diana. Diana, Lovejoy. - Hello. 78 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,749 Hello, Diana. 79 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,760 Would you like to show Lovejoy his room? 80 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,125 With pleasure. 81 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:34,924 - Is that it? - A master of disguise. 82 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,931 - Did you have a good week? - I saw you on Wednesday. 83 00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:41,303 Seems longer. 84 00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:45,767 I wonder if he knows much about Meissen. 85 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,474 - Teddy, it's the weekend. - So? 86 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,575 If he was a plumber, would you ask him about the cistern? 87 00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:53,983 Yes. 88 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,578 They're solicitors, both of them. 89 00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,681 - Yours? - No, they represent Janey and Alex. 90 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,215 They're coming tomorrow. 91 00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:01,982 Hm. 92 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:07,393 A-ha. Very nice. Where's your room? 93 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,730 I'm down the landing. 94 00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,326 Hm, just in case. 95 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,804 - In case what? - I sleepwalk. 96 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,808 - Is that a promise? - Mmm. 97 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:19,803 Hey. 98 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,177 - Janey. - Hello, darling. 99 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,315 - Lovejoy. - Hello, Janey. 100 00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:36,226 - You left me with the Dalrymples yesterday. - Janey, please, no shop, not at the weekend. 101 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:38,228 Oh. 102 00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:40,164 You coming biking with us? 103 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:42,326 Matters of paperwork. Have to get it finished. 104 00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:45,462 Alex, you're not getting away from it all, you're bringing it all with you. 105 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,496 Some of us have to work, Lovejoy. 106 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,577 (Bicycle bells) 107 00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:58,812 ♪ And as I go, I love to sing 108 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:02,048 ♪ With my knapsack on my back 109 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:06,024 ♪ Val-deri, val-dera 110 00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,855 ♪ Val-deri 111 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,555 ♪ Val-dera-a-a-a-a-a 112 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,222 ♪ Val-deri 113 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,822 ♪ Val-dera 114 00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:16,301 ♪ With my knapsack on my back ♪ 115 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:21,029 (All sing the chorus) 116 00:07:58,277 --> 00:08:01,144 - We must talk. - Talk? I can hardly breathe. 117 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:03,512 About the Dalrymples. 118 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:06,040 Later, Janey, later. 119 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:12,089 (Knock at door) 120 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,485 Janey, I left my mascara behind. 121 00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,088 Here you are. 122 00:08:26,472 --> 00:08:29,873 Well, I've heard of pale and interesting but... 123 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,333 Come here. 124 00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:44,152 There, that's better. 125 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,283 Oh, yes, much. 126 00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:47,815 I think so. 127 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,991 - What does Alex think? - Oh, he's never here to notice. 128 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,727 Too busy cooking up something in Hong Kong. 129 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,394 Dim sum. 130 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:03,976 Isn't this all rather tame? Weekend in the country, cycle riding. 131 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:07,275 Lovejoy says Aldeburgh's like Peyton Place. 132 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:11,876 - He would, wouldn't he? - He makes me laugh. 133 00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:18,479 (Birdsong) 134 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:27,026 - Bucks fizz, anyone? - (All stir) 135 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,660 - Desert Island Discs in 20 minutes. - Oh. 136 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,036 No one wants lunch, do they? 137 00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:43,370 (Door opens) 138 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,445 - Nice bath? - Fabulous. 139 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:49,943 - Phone didn't ring, did it? - No, it'll be about 3am in Hong Kong. 140 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,854 Yes. 141 00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,324 Oh. 142 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:56,817 - It's exhausting, isn't it? - Doing nothing? Always said it was lethal. 143 00:09:56,862 --> 00:10:00,195 No, it was that bike. 144 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,765 Oh, talk about killing the fatted calves. 145 00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:08,299 - Where are you off to? - Looking for Lovejoy. 146 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,673 Oh. He has a new toy. 147 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:14,237 Yes, and we have a business to run. 148 00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:24,954 Lovejoy? 149 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:34,196 (Giggling) 150 00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:47,535 As soon as you get bored, switch everything off, lock up and give the keys to Ella. 151 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,775 Will do and thanks again. 152 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,375 - Loved Lovejoy. - I'll tell him. 153 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,045 Bye, Teddy. 154 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:08,357 - Ah, Monday morning. - Straight after Sunday. 155 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,199 Gosh, life's predictable, Janey. 156 00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:15,039 - Lots to do this week. - Lots to do. 157 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,474 We're meeting the Dalrymples at 10. I'll pick you up. 158 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,909 Splendid. 159 00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:21,913 - Sketch out what we have in mind. - Fantastic. 160 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,889 I'll pick you up, 9:45 at the cottage. 161 00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:33,949 Ja, mon capitaine. 162 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,479 - Goodbye, Janey. - Bye-bye. 163 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,315 - Take care. - Bye, Alex. 164 00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:02,684 Drive carefully. 165 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,053 See you later. 166 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,505 (Beeps horn) 167 00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:42,082 - Forget something? - Breakfast. 168 00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:50,559 He drove off five minutes before we did. He can't have vanished. 169 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,697 - No sign of him on the road? - Of course not. 170 00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:57,742 Oh, he's just irresponsible, totally irresponsible. 171 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,405 The Dalrymples are bloody good clients. 172 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:03,244 It's probably trouble with Miriam, that's what it'll be. 173 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,445 We would have seen him, passed him. There's only one road. 174 00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:11,647 He hasn't been feeling good in himself all week. 175 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:15,023 Well, that's right. I said to you he looked a bit peaky, didn't I? 176 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:17,824 That's right. You said he looked a bit peaky, didn't you? 177 00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:20,627 Peaky? Oh, come on, boys. 178 00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:25,626 This weekend he cycled, climbed trees, rode, swam. 179 00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:27,502 God knows what he did at night. 180 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:32,375 I'll drive up to the Dalrymples. When he calls, tell him to join me. 181 00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:35,676 - And what if he don't? - Tell him he'll need a new partner. 182 00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:48,959 You smell beautifully warm. 183 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:53,430 What is it? A little room temperature Chanel or... 184 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:57,391 a well chambred Nina Ricci, hm? 185 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,871 I haven't worn Chanel for years. 186 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,038 When I was 20, I knew 'em all. 187 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:10,544 - Nose like a gundog. - There weren't so many in those days. 188 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,486 (Phone rings) 189 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,511 No, no, no, no. 190 00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:22,121 - Shouldn't we answer it? - No, it's not for us. 191 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:24,186 How do you know? 192 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:27,028 I'm a divvy. I know these things. 193 00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:59,420 (Footsteps on the gravel) 194 00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:08,337 Ah, Yvonne. 195 00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:11,309 - How are you? - Worried. 196 00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:14,073 - We said the 14th, you know. - I know. 197 00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:17,310 - You're sure you'll be through by then? - Oh, quite sure. 198 00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:19,783 It must be ready, Jane. 199 00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:22,810 The builders finish on Saturday. The invitations have gone out. 200 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:26,655 - Abi's booked a flight from Sydney. - It will be ready, don't worry. 201 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:32,154 - Where's Mr. Lovejoy? - Um, I think he's looking at a piece. 202 00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:35,997 I did enjoy our little chat together. Keen on Sheraton, isn't he? 203 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,560 - He did rather promise... - There is only so much. 204 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,731 Well, I realize. 205 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,207 But I do have your guarantee about the 14th? 206 00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:44,800 Absolutely. 207 00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:46,174 Good egg. 208 00:15:55,621 --> 00:16:00,149 Routine tests, they said, then they took her into hospital. 209 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:02,626 Next thing I knew she'd... 210 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,855 - I'm terribly sorry. - Wasn't much of a life. 211 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,901 Husband never came back from Korea. 212 00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:12,597 I'm her only relative. 213 00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:17,839 Well, the problem is, Mr. Reynolds, that we don't really do house clearances. 214 00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,537 Oh, I see. 215 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:23,945 Well, there's no point in wasting your time, then. 216 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,077 Only the vicar did mention the name Lovejoy. 217 00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:28,552 (Lovejoy) Morning, all. 218 00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:30,248 Excuse me, Mr. Reynolds. 219 00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:34,822 What are you doing here? You should be with Lady Jane. Hopping mad, she is. 220 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,589 Relax, Eric, relax. 221 00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,596 - Good morning. - Morning. 222 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:42,964 This is Mr. Reynolds. His sister's passed on and he wants us to empty the house. 223 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:46,096 - But I was just explaining... - That it's not our scene. I'm sorry. 224 00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,971 We deal with more legitimate antiques. 225 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,568 So your partner told me. 226 00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:55,068 There are one or two nice things among the dross. 227 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,103 Really? 228 00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,776 Yes, there's a Victorian lowboy, 229 00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:00,375 a couple of Kilims. 230 00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:04,112 Some porcelain and... salt glaze. 231 00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:05,919 - Is that what they call it? - Yes. 232 00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:10,253 It wouldn't take long if you could spare an hour. 233 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:13,526 I'm afraid I'm run off my feet but why don't you take my partner? 234 00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:15,294 Eric? Excuse us, Mr. Reynolds. 235 00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,132 Eric, you're always going on about more responsibility. 236 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:19,933 You deal with this. Take Tink. 237 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:22,634 - Lovejoy. - I'll give you a float. 238 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,166 - Two grand. - All right. 239 00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:30,375 If it's a question of transport, I'd be happy to drive you. 240 00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:32,281 Oh, no, no, no. We'll follow you. 241 00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:35,650 - Don't forget Lady Jane. - Everything's under control, partner. 242 00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:42,624 - Hope we can be of assistance, Mr. Reynolds. - Thank you, you're most kind. 243 00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:44,561 (Phone rings) 244 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:52,567 Lovejoy Antiques, wait for the beep. Thank you. (Beep) 245 00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:56,734 Lovejoy, Jane. I'm at the Dalrymples. Where are you? 246 00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:17,957 - Where the hell have you been? - Janey, Janey, Janey. 247 00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:21,727 And old client's sister died. It's a sad story, we'll talk about it later. 248 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,167 - Now what do we have to do? - Fill it. 249 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,228 - All of it? - By the 14th. 250 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,739 - Sh... - Exactly. 251 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:32,005 - Have you time to glance around? - I've always got time for you. 252 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,807 I just have to be at an auction by two. 253 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:37,942 - In Aberdeen? - I do love a woman with a sense of humor. 254 00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:40,049 I've noticed. 255 00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:47,152 I hadn't the heart to move them. 256 00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:50,025 - Some neighbor brought them. - Really? 257 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,326 That's one of the Kilims. 258 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:54,298 It's more... 259 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,325 Grandpa Reynolds brought it back after the Great War. 260 00:18:57,369 --> 00:19:00,827 - Gallipoli. - That was the start of the Persian rug craze. 261 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,398 So how do you want to work this then, Mr. Reynolds? 262 00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:06,377 I've no idea. I'll be guided by you. 263 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:09,244 Well, I suggest that my man and I take a quick shufti, 264 00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:11,613 note anything of interest and then we'll talk. 265 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,641 That's fine by me. 266 00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:15,243 Do you have any silver? 267 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,222 No idea. 268 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:30,527 How much do your reckon the frame's... (Lowers voice) 50 quid? 269 00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,469 (Whispers) 25. 270 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,608 How much? 271 00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:42,637 - About four. - £4,000? 272 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,376 - Four. - Oh. 273 00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:59,593 - Who are these people? - Sweepers, runners, myths. 274 00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:03,567 - Punters. It's got a language all of its own. - So I'm learning. 275 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,965 You got an eye glass, Tink? 276 00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:09,867 If I've got my trousers on, 277 00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:11,603 I've got my eye glass. 278 00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:15,045 Who was the bloke who made the original Tobys? 279 00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:19,116 Wood, Ralph Wood. 280 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,642 Uh, and these, I take it, aren't. 281 00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,211 Uh, no. 282 00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:26,622 Charles Noakes, 20th century revival. 283 00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:28,592 And value? 284 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,959 I thought you were going to tell me that, boss. 285 00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:48,342 You're the expert. It says £80 to 100. 286 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,211 It can't be worth that, surely? 287 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,741 The price is the figure it's sold at. The value is what it's worth to the owner. 288 00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:56,777 Quite often the two have nothing to do with each other. 289 00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:37,019 Lovejoy, I've found a beautiful Victorian mourning ring. 290 00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:40,122 It's gold with a little band... You've found something? 291 00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:41,962 - Yeah. - You're joking. What? 292 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,490 Lot 17. 293 00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:46,364 Lot 17... 294 00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:49,704 "A collection of reproductions, various. Estimate: £15" 295 00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:51,231 Are you sure? 296 00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:54,109 Little problem. I'm a might well known. 297 00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,626 - That's a grand total of, what, 1400? - 14. 298 00:22:11,363 --> 00:22:14,355 - That's not so grand. - These aren't vintage years. 299 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:19,331 Nobody's going to buy a Picasso print when they should be buying shepherd's pie. 300 00:22:21,206 --> 00:22:22,503 Only 80 for the jugs? 301 00:22:22,541 --> 00:22:24,406 Each. 302 00:22:25,277 --> 00:22:28,269 - Is that as high as you can go? - I'm afraid so. 303 00:22:28,313 --> 00:22:31,146 - They're Royal Doulton. - Chipped Royal Doulton. 304 00:22:33,218 --> 00:22:34,549 I hadn't noticed. 305 00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:38,449 And... Well, the Kilims? 306 00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:39,923 No, sorry. 307 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,090 What about that watercolor over the bed? 308 00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:53,698 Look, I'll tell you what I'll do, Mr. Reynolds. 309 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:57,698 I'll take the Kilims and the watercolor off your hands, and I'll pay cash. 310 00:22:57,743 --> 00:23:03,306 Cash, mind you. No promissory notes, no backdated checks. Cash. 311 00:23:03,348 --> 00:23:06,078 1500 quid in cash. 312 00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:07,710 That's my last word. 313 00:23:15,093 --> 00:23:16,458 - How much? - 12. 314 00:23:16,495 --> 00:23:18,520 Oh, you clever girl. 315 00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:20,861 Come on, I'll show you. 316 00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:23,991 - Rubbish, rubbish. - Wait... 317 00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:26,435 No, this is all junk. There we are. 318 00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:30,939 What does it say? 319 00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:32,637 Beckwith. 320 00:23:32,677 --> 00:23:35,578 - Lionel Beckwith. - Who's he? 321 00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:41,048 He is, was, one of the leading East Anglian contemporary landscape painters. 322 00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:43,054 Is that saying much? 323 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:46,489 Constable, Chrome, Churchyard - the Norwich School's a rich tradition. 324 00:23:46,525 --> 00:23:50,791 - What are they worth? - I don't know, about 2-3,000. 325 00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:56,863 - You just made £3,000 in ten minutes. - Sh. 326 00:23:56,902 --> 00:24:03,102 - £3,000 in ten minutes and 25 years. - I'm still impressed. 327 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,540 - Are you? - Yes. 328 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:14,616 (Phone rings) 329 00:24:14,653 --> 00:24:18,089 - Lovejoy Associates, Eric speaking. - Eric, it's me. How did you get on? 330 00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:21,115 - Cracking. We got some great stuff. - Well, tell, tell. 331 00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:23,821 - Well, a couple of rugs. - Kilims? 332 00:24:23,862 --> 00:24:28,959 And some porcelain and a very nice chest of drawers, a lowboy, 333 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,197 a Victorian coal bucket, helmet-shaped, 334 00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:35,434 and a Dutch pewter wine flagon. 335 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,601 Tinker reckons that's worth 250 quid. 336 00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:40,270 - Sounds good. How much did you pay? - That's the best bit. 337 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:42,109 - How much? - Terrific value. 338 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,876 - How much? - You'll never guess. 339 00:24:43,915 --> 00:24:46,281 - How much? - 1500. 340 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:48,047 You did do well. 341 00:24:48,086 --> 00:24:50,816 Tinker reckons it's worth at least 3,000. 342 00:24:50,856 --> 00:24:53,916 - When do you pick it up? - We're doing it now. I borrowed a van. 343 00:24:53,959 --> 00:24:57,224 The butcher wanted 10 quid for it, I knocked him down to 5. 344 00:24:57,262 --> 00:25:01,596 - You are getting a taste for this, Eric. - 0h, uh, Lady Jane left a message. 345 00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:04,966 I've called Janey, everything's under control. Ciao for now. 346 00:25:11,142 --> 00:25:14,077 - What? - Telling porky pies. 347 00:25:14,112 --> 00:25:17,013 To stop them worrying. I don't want them involved. 348 00:25:17,616 --> 00:25:21,518 Have you ever seen Jane in full flight? It's not pretty. 349 00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:26,047 Once at school she was expecting to get an A grade in O-Level Latin and she got a C. 350 00:25:26,091 --> 00:25:29,925 She split the blackboard from top to bottom with her forehead. 351 00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:31,656 Still, you're a hard-headed lot, 352 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:33,186 aristocracy. 353 00:25:34,566 --> 00:25:36,966 - Drink up. - Why? Where are we going? 354 00:25:37,002 --> 00:25:39,334 - I'm taking you to one of my auctions. - Ooh. 355 00:25:55,253 --> 00:25:59,519 God, that smell reminds me of when I used to work in a slaughterhouse with my dad. 356 00:26:00,292 --> 00:26:02,726 We'll start with the chest and then the lowboy. 357 00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:05,992 - We'll do it all in one load, no problem. - Hello. 358 00:26:06,965 --> 00:26:07,954 Good... 359 00:26:10,368 --> 00:26:11,699 Who are you? 360 00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:15,695 That's rich. I'm Elsie Barratt, I live here. 361 00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:17,435 Who are you? 362 00:26:17,475 --> 00:26:22,572 Live here? But you're supposed to be... Where's Mr. Reynolds? 363 00:26:22,614 --> 00:26:24,081 Who? 364 00:26:24,115 --> 00:26:26,242 Your brother. 365 00:26:26,284 --> 00:26:27,751 I haven't got a brother. 366 00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:29,777 I never had one. 367 00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:34,852 Where were you, Mrs. Barratt, earlier on? 368 00:26:34,893 --> 00:26:38,124 In hospital. I've been there for a couple of nights. 369 00:26:38,163 --> 00:26:40,290 Strip and tie. 370 00:26:40,332 --> 00:26:42,027 Varicose veins. 371 00:26:42,067 --> 00:26:44,262 Ambulance brought me home. 372 00:26:45,837 --> 00:26:47,429 The photo's gone. 373 00:26:47,472 --> 00:26:50,407 - What photo? - He took it with him. 374 00:26:51,743 --> 00:26:53,472 And the lilies. 375 00:26:54,679 --> 00:26:57,113 1500 quid. 376 00:26:58,350 --> 00:27:00,011 (Auctioneer) At 4,244. 377 00:27:00,051 --> 00:27:03,384 At 4,4. 4,6. At 4,600. Yes. 4,8. 378 00:27:03,421 --> 00:27:06,219 At 4,800 I have. What about 5,000 across? 379 00:27:06,257 --> 00:27:08,384 5,000, thank you, sir. At 5,000 guineas. 380 00:27:08,426 --> 00:27:11,361 Bid me more. At 5,000. He's worth a bit more than this, surely. 381 00:27:11,396 --> 00:27:13,796 5,2. At 5,200. 5,4... 382 00:27:13,832 --> 00:27:16,824 - How old are these things? - They're two-year-olds. 383 00:27:16,868 --> 00:27:18,233 5,6. 5,8. 384 00:27:18,269 --> 00:27:20,066 At 5,800. 6,000 bid. 385 00:27:20,105 --> 00:27:23,074 At 6,000 guineas. He's on the market. I sell him to you across. 386 00:27:23,108 --> 00:27:26,043 He's done us. We've been conned, Tink. 387 00:27:26,077 --> 00:27:27,601 So it would appear. 388 00:27:28,613 --> 00:27:30,638 Damn, damn, damn! 389 00:27:30,682 --> 00:27:34,243 - What's Lovejoy going to say? - Something short and pithy. 390 00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:36,446 He'll flay us alive. 391 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,115 Us? 392 00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:39,817 Look, where do you think he is? 393 00:27:40,592 --> 00:27:42,560 - Lovejoy? - Reynolds. 394 00:27:42,594 --> 00:27:45,085 Having breakfast in Singapore. 395 00:27:46,097 --> 00:27:48,031 You can get a long way on 1500. 396 00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:49,863 Cash as well. 397 00:27:49,901 --> 00:27:51,892 The first time he trusts me. 398 00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:56,197 At 8,400. Any advance anywhere? 399 00:27:56,241 --> 00:27:59,404 At 8,400. The best bidder has him at 8,400. 400 00:27:59,444 --> 00:28:02,538 Mr. Peters is it? Thank you very much, sir. 8,4. 401 00:28:02,580 --> 00:28:04,673 - Bit on the leg. - Pardon. 402 00:28:04,716 --> 00:28:08,982 - Legs are slightly out of proportion. - I thought you meant he had an extra one. 403 00:28:20,999 --> 00:28:22,330 Let's go. 404 00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:24,631 - We've only just got here. - Time to leave. 405 00:28:25,837 --> 00:28:27,395 Lovejoy? 406 00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:43,752 Do you want the other half? 407 00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:46,882 - Pills. - Do you want a bottle of Pils? 408 00:28:47,859 --> 00:28:49,724 Sleeping pills. 409 00:28:49,761 --> 00:28:51,752 I can't face Lovejoy. 410 00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:57,599 I was in the army with a bloke who tried to top himself once. 411 00:28:57,635 --> 00:28:59,262 How'd he do it? 412 00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:03,138 Well, after a great deal of thought, he settled on hanging. 413 00:29:03,174 --> 00:29:04,801 Hanging? 414 00:29:04,843 --> 00:29:10,281 Hm. He found a tree with a branch that stretched right out above the sea. 415 00:29:10,315 --> 00:29:13,580 - Spectacular. - And to save himself pain, 416 00:29:13,618 --> 00:29:16,314 he took an overdose of pills. 417 00:29:16,354 --> 00:29:18,618 Not leaving anything to chance, was he? 418 00:29:18,656 --> 00:29:21,682 And just to make trebly sure, he decided to shoot himself. 419 00:29:22,894 --> 00:29:24,589 Well, what happened? 420 00:29:24,629 --> 00:29:27,393 Well, he slipped the noose around his neck, 421 00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:29,696 cocked the pistol, swallowed the pills 422 00:29:29,734 --> 00:29:31,497 and stepped out over the cliff. 423 00:29:32,537 --> 00:29:33,970 And? 424 00:29:34,005 --> 00:29:36,872 Well, the jerk of the rope ruined his aim. 425 00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:41,072 The bullet missed his head, cut the rope in half, he dropped like a stone into the sea, 426 00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:44,343 swallowed so much salt water that he vomited up the pills 427 00:29:44,382 --> 00:29:48,079 and swam back to shore a better and a wiser man. 428 00:29:51,122 --> 00:29:54,421 Last I heard he was growing chrysanths in Yarmouth. 429 00:29:56,494 --> 00:29:59,224 Do you think there's a moral in there somewhere? 430 00:30:17,615 --> 00:30:18,582 Tink? 431 00:30:18,616 --> 00:30:19,844 Open this. 432 00:30:19,884 --> 00:30:21,476 - Lovejoy. - In a minute, Eric. 433 00:30:21,519 --> 00:30:23,384 - No, it's important. - So is this, Eric. 434 00:30:23,421 --> 00:30:27,118 - No, look... - Eric! I'm sorry, I'm thrilled for you. 435 00:30:27,158 --> 00:30:29,183 You've done marvels. 436 00:30:29,227 --> 00:30:32,162 I remember my first big win. You never really forget it, do you? 437 00:30:32,197 --> 00:30:34,995 We've come up on a treble chance. Take a butcher's at those. 438 00:30:35,033 --> 00:30:38,002 And 500 quid you saved me. 439 00:30:38,036 --> 00:30:40,197 - Ah, yeah, right. - Much appreciated. 440 00:30:40,238 --> 00:30:42,729 - What do you think, Tink? - They're Beckwiths. 441 00:30:42,774 --> 00:30:44,366 Not done much in watercolor. 442 00:30:44,409 --> 00:30:46,400 - Sketches. - That's what I thought. 443 00:30:46,444 --> 00:30:48,275 - How much? - 12 quid. 444 00:30:48,313 --> 00:30:50,338 - 12 quid? - In with a load of junk. 445 00:30:50,381 --> 00:30:52,576 - Somebody's slipped up. - Some poor devil. 446 00:30:52,617 --> 00:30:55,017 - Either very thick or very unlucky. - Lovejoy... 447 00:30:55,053 --> 00:30:59,080 Eric, I know I'm not saying much but I really am very appreciative. 448 00:30:59,123 --> 00:31:01,091 I thought I'd offer them to Janey. 449 00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:03,559 But the Dalrymples want oils. 450 00:31:03,595 --> 00:31:06,996 How about your friend Deborah? When's that gallery opening? 451 00:31:07,031 --> 00:31:08,362 Hang on a minute. 452 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,198 - Thursday night, wine and cheese... - Thursday night. 453 00:31:12,237 --> 00:31:16,264 Right, give Deborah first offer. Might help get her launched. 454 00:31:16,307 --> 00:31:20,437 - That's very noble of you. - I'm in a very noble mood these days. 455 00:31:20,478 --> 00:31:23,208 I don't want to spoil your mood but have you talked to Jane? 456 00:31:23,248 --> 00:31:26,684 I'll talk to her. She knows I'm grafting. Beckwiths don't grow on trees. 457 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:30,984 - Apparently they do at 12 quid for four. - Well, they're three grand to Deborah. 458 00:31:31,022 --> 00:31:33,047 - OK? - Possible. 459 00:31:33,091 --> 00:31:34,422 - Must rush. - Lovejoy... 460 00:31:34,459 --> 00:31:37,895 Eric, I know, tomorrow morning I'll see all the stuff. 461 00:31:37,929 --> 00:31:40,693 Dutch wine flagon. Don't think I've ever seen one of those. 462 00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:42,893 You done great. The lad done terrific. 463 00:31:42,934 --> 00:31:45,960 Keep at it. No rest for the wicked. Must dash. 464 00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:58,375 - My God, they're Beckwiths. - Do you like them. 465 00:31:58,416 --> 00:31:59,940 They're wonderful. 466 00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:05,412 - What about a certificate of provenance? - They're all signed. 467 00:32:07,325 --> 00:32:11,318 - Pop 'em in the window. - How much? 468 00:32:11,362 --> 00:32:14,456 - 5,000. - Oh. 469 00:32:14,499 --> 00:32:17,468 - I couldn't raise that. - Banks are pretty amenable these days. 470 00:32:17,502 --> 00:32:21,700 - Well, mine isn't. Two. - We're not running a charity. 471 00:32:21,739 --> 00:32:25,539 It's been a hell of a month. You'd think I was decorating Windsor Castle. 472 00:32:25,576 --> 00:32:27,840 - Four. - (Sighs) 473 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,548 I can't, Tink. Honestly, it's too much. 474 00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:34,983 Three. 475 00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:58,133 (Inaudible) 476 00:33:04,549 --> 00:33:06,915 I've never seen him like this. 477 00:33:06,951 --> 00:33:10,580 He's never been like this. He's besotted. 478 00:33:12,390 --> 00:33:14,950 I can't even tell him I've lost his money. 479 00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,824 - (Jane) What money? - His money. 480 00:33:16,861 --> 00:33:18,328 My money. 481 00:33:18,363 --> 00:33:20,422 The money. 482 00:33:20,465 --> 00:33:22,831 1500 smackers down the Suwannee. 483 00:33:25,269 --> 00:33:28,796 Jane, I've just seen Reg's study. It's coming along awfully well. 484 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,640 - Oh, I'm glad you're pleased. - Yes, it's suddenly coming together. 485 00:33:33,644 --> 00:33:37,239 I like the table and the chairs. 486 00:33:37,281 --> 00:33:40,648 Still a lot to do, though. Seems awfully bare. 487 00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:42,118 Minimalist. 488 00:33:42,887 --> 00:33:45,151 Where's your chap Lovejoy? 489 00:33:45,189 --> 00:33:49,523 He's, uh... doing the local sales. 490 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,425 Buying a horse, is he? 491 00:33:52,563 --> 00:33:53,552 Furniture. 492 00:33:54,932 --> 00:33:58,026 Just my little joke. We thought we saw him in Newmarket. 493 00:33:58,069 --> 00:34:00,594 Oh, no, no. 494 00:34:00,638 --> 00:34:02,435 Reg is set on Sheraton, you know. 495 00:34:02,473 --> 00:34:04,304 Well, we'll see. 496 00:34:04,342 --> 00:34:06,276 Good. Keep up the good work. 497 00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:08,676 I don't suppose there's any chance of an advance? 498 00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:11,172 Advance? 499 00:34:11,215 --> 00:34:15,276 He was saying we've made a big advance. 500 00:34:15,319 --> 00:34:18,413 Yes, that's right. Looks lovely, what there is of it. 501 00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:22,185 Still make the 14th, won't we? 502 00:34:23,127 --> 00:34:24,458 Good show! 503 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,828 Newmarket! 504 00:34:28,866 --> 00:34:31,733 For decent furniture, he should have been in Cambridge. 505 00:34:31,769 --> 00:34:35,068 It shouldn't be me that says it, Lady Jane, but you brought her here. 506 00:34:35,106 --> 00:34:37,540 - Who? - Victoria. 507 00:34:38,476 --> 00:34:40,410 - (Whispers) Eric. - (Jane) It is true. 508 00:34:40,445 --> 00:34:42,504 I've thought about it myself. 509 00:34:43,714 --> 00:34:45,443 It always happens like that, 510 00:34:45,483 --> 00:34:47,314 just as things are going smoothly. 511 00:34:47,351 --> 00:34:48,477 What does? 512 00:34:48,519 --> 00:34:51,249 An angel piddles in your beer. 513 00:35:18,349 --> 00:35:20,010 Poor old Eric. 514 00:35:44,642 --> 00:35:47,634 I felt the same when I lost my Auntie Millie. 515 00:35:54,252 --> 00:35:57,312 (Man) So, your first gallery. You must be thrilled to pieces. 516 00:35:57,355 --> 00:36:00,552 (Deborah) I am. It's been a lot of hard work as you can imagine. 517 00:36:00,591 --> 00:36:04,220 - But you've got quite a good crowd here. - Well, I have, I must say. 518 00:36:04,262 --> 00:36:06,856 And everybody's talking about these Beckwiths. 519 00:36:08,399 --> 00:36:10,993 Ooh. Have you told him yet? 520 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:15,131 All right, all right, I'm trying to catch him, aren't I? 521 00:36:18,709 --> 00:36:21,974 Debs, how are the Beckwiths? Paying for themselves? 522 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:25,210 - They're a great draw, caused a great stir. - Yeah? 523 00:36:25,249 --> 00:36:27,513 - Lots of interest. - Good. Victoria? 524 00:36:27,552 --> 00:36:30,612 You don't know her. Deborah Frobisher, Victoria Cavero. 525 00:36:30,655 --> 00:36:33,089 - Sounds Spanish. - My late husband. 526 00:36:33,124 --> 00:36:35,149 Oh, I'm sorry. 527 00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:36,524 Excuse me. 528 00:36:38,095 --> 00:36:42,828 Jane, you look fabulous. What a great outfit. Makes you look ten years younger. 529 00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,926 Well, nearly ten years since you last saw me. 530 00:36:44,969 --> 00:36:47,563 See, Alex? You try and be nice, pay them a compliment... 531 00:36:47,605 --> 00:36:49,197 - It was appreciated. - Good. 532 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:52,505 - I like the Beckwiths. - Hm. You thought I was playing hooky. 533 00:36:52,543 --> 00:36:54,033 Yes, didn't I? 534 00:36:54,078 --> 00:36:57,605 I'd better see the Simpsons, catch him while he's still sober. 535 00:36:58,549 --> 00:37:00,574 Victoria, darling, would you mind? 536 00:37:04,855 --> 00:37:08,791 Ever since you mentioned it, the Dalrymples have set their heart on Sheraton. 537 00:37:08,826 --> 00:37:11,522 Well, it's not easy. He's not doing much these days. 538 00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:14,292 It was a joke, Jane. I'm still looking. 539 00:37:14,332 --> 00:37:16,698 In Newmarket? 540 00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:19,498 Lovejoy, you're not pulling your weight. 541 00:37:19,537 --> 00:37:23,803 - Janey, our business relationship... - Yours is the relationship. 542 00:37:23,841 --> 00:37:25,502 Mine is the business. 543 00:37:29,013 --> 00:37:32,073 - Ooh, thank you. - You looked as if you needed it. 544 00:37:32,116 --> 00:37:33,242 I do. 545 00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:37,346 - Gallant of you to notice the new frock. - Good of you to tell me. 546 00:37:38,389 --> 00:37:40,414 Quiet. Can we have some hush, please? 547 00:37:43,361 --> 00:37:45,022 Frobisher? Is she here? 548 00:37:46,697 --> 00:37:48,597 Yes, I'm Miss Frobisher. 549 00:37:48,633 --> 00:37:52,364 Ah. Now these four watercolors... 550 00:37:52,403 --> 00:37:55,201 - You say they're Beckwiths. - That's right. 551 00:37:55,973 --> 00:38:00,205 - You've been diddled. They're fakes. - I sold those to Miss Frobisher. 552 00:38:00,244 --> 00:38:02,007 - And who are you? - Lovejoy. 553 00:38:02,046 --> 00:38:03,536 Oh, a dealer. 554 00:38:03,581 --> 00:38:04,946 Yeah. 555 00:38:04,982 --> 00:38:07,041 I take it you're an expert on Beckwith? 556 00:38:07,084 --> 00:38:08,915 You've made a lifelong study of his work? 557 00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:11,421 I'm not an expert, no. 558 00:38:11,455 --> 00:38:13,685 No, but you once saw one on a calendar 559 00:38:13,724 --> 00:38:17,353 in a hairdresser's shop a very long time ago. 560 00:38:19,163 --> 00:38:22,064 I say they're Beckwiths, and what's more, they're signed. 561 00:38:22,099 --> 00:38:24,158 The signatures are also false. 562 00:38:25,569 --> 00:38:28,231 You seem to know a hell of a lot about Beckwith. 563 00:38:28,272 --> 00:38:31,435 I should do, I am Beckwith. 564 00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:35,445 This is deliberate, isn't it? 565 00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:37,640 Done when I have an exhibition on in London. 566 00:38:37,682 --> 00:38:40,810 Time to cause me the maximum amount of embarrassment. 567 00:38:40,851 --> 00:38:44,309 I'm very sorry, Mr. Beckwith. I apologize sincerely. 568 00:38:44,355 --> 00:38:45,879 I bought them in good faith. 569 00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:50,326 Yes, well, you tell that to my solicitor. He'll be in touch with you tomorrow. 570 00:38:50,361 --> 00:38:54,695 In the meantime, take these pictures away. 571 00:38:59,637 --> 00:39:00,626 Sorry, Debbie. 572 00:39:00,671 --> 00:39:04,072 Come round tomorrow morning, I'll square up with you. 573 00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:05,598 I trusted you, Lovejoy. 574 00:39:12,983 --> 00:39:15,747 - Can he sue? - I don't know. Ask Ed Carr. 575 00:39:17,154 --> 00:39:19,145 I still say he did them. 576 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:21,021 He's the artist, he should know. 577 00:39:22,526 --> 00:39:24,551 Thank you very much, Mr. Beckwith. 578 00:39:42,079 --> 00:39:43,808 Yes, is that the Guardian? 579 00:39:44,882 --> 00:39:47,043 (Lovejoy) You sold your bike, Eric? 580 00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:48,707 Yep. 581 00:39:48,753 --> 00:39:53,690 You shouldn't have. It's your pride and joy. It was like your firstborn. 582 00:39:55,526 --> 00:39:57,994 I'm very, very touched. 583 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:03,757 1500 quid. 584 00:40:05,836 --> 00:40:07,929 - You shouldn't have. - (Debbie) Lovejoy? 585 00:40:07,972 --> 00:40:11,738 On second thoughts, maybe you should. 586 00:40:15,513 --> 00:40:19,449 - £3,000, please. - Half now, half later. 587 00:40:27,625 --> 00:40:31,527 Mr. Lovejoy, did you hear Beckwith on the radio this morning? 588 00:40:31,562 --> 00:40:34,497 - I heard enough last night. - Story's made Fleet Street. 589 00:40:34,532 --> 00:40:37,729 - Don't sound so heartbroken. - You've dropped Miss Frobisher in it. 590 00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:39,201 Right in it. 591 00:40:39,236 --> 00:40:42,569 - Doesn't say a lot for your judgment. - Not a lot. 592 00:40:42,606 --> 00:40:44,801 Any comment? 593 00:40:44,842 --> 00:40:46,776 You know, 594 00:40:46,811 --> 00:40:48,802 I'm sure you'll think of something. 595 00:40:50,881 --> 00:40:52,041 Eh? 596 00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:01,451 - Syd. - Oh, hello, Lovejoy. 597 00:41:01,492 --> 00:41:05,121 Monday's auction, lot 17. 598 00:41:10,434 --> 00:41:12,834 "Lot 17 - collection of reproductions, various." 599 00:41:12,870 --> 00:41:16,271 That's the very... Hold on, hold on. How many pictures did you put up? 600 00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:18,138 - Eight. - Eight? 601 00:41:18,175 --> 00:41:20,405 Well, it says so here, large as life. 602 00:41:21,345 --> 00:41:23,336 Are you saying some have gone for a walk? 603 00:41:23,380 --> 00:41:26,872 Quite the opposite, Sydney. I bought 12. 604 00:41:26,917 --> 00:41:28,782 Funny. How do you explain that? 605 00:42:08,893 --> 00:42:10,861 Good morning, sir. Can I help you? 606 00:42:10,895 --> 00:42:14,888 Hello. It's quiet, isn't it? How long's the exhibition been on? 607 00:42:14,932 --> 00:42:16,661 This is the second week. 608 00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:20,796 - Not many visitors, not many sales. - Are you interested in Beckwith? 609 00:42:20,838 --> 00:42:24,205 I'm fascinated but I don't know much about him, apart from what I've read. 610 00:42:24,241 --> 00:42:26,732 - The contretemps in East Anglia. - Hm. 611 00:42:26,777 --> 00:42:28,677 Let me tell you all about him. 612 00:42:28,712 --> 00:42:33,513 He's exhibited at the Hayward, the Carnegie Institute, Pittsburgh, 613 00:42:33,551 --> 00:42:36,145 the Ottawa Gallery in Canada, 614 00:42:36,186 --> 00:42:38,450 the Palais des Beaux-Arts in Brussels. 615 00:42:38,489 --> 00:42:40,650 He did a Council tour of New Delhi and Bombay. 616 00:42:40,691 --> 00:42:42,488 - Recently? - Mid '70s. 617 00:42:42,526 --> 00:42:46,485 He has canvases in the Fitzwilliam at Cambridge, the Walker Gallery, Liverpool, 618 00:42:46,530 --> 00:42:48,930 the Gulbenkian Foundation, Lisbon... 619 00:42:51,602 --> 00:42:54,298 and the Bunkamura in Tokyo. 620 00:42:54,338 --> 00:42:58,274 - Well, he gets about, doesn't he? - And he's on the Wogan show tonight. 621 00:42:58,309 --> 00:43:01,472 Well, I mustn't forget... (Whispers)... to be out. 622 00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:05,507 Still living in Suffolk, is he? 623 00:43:12,690 --> 00:43:15,124 No one home. 624 00:43:16,226 --> 00:43:19,389 Well, I'll say one thing - if he's starving, he's doing it in style. 625 00:43:19,430 --> 00:43:21,762 Six crates of champagne have just been delivered. 626 00:43:21,799 --> 00:43:24,029 Celebration time chez Beckwith? 627 00:43:24,068 --> 00:43:26,764 A mite premature. Come on. 628 00:43:26,804 --> 00:43:28,533 Let's take a snoop round the back. 629 00:44:22,092 --> 00:44:23,650 Cheeky sod. 630 00:44:26,296 --> 00:44:28,992 - Do you recognize it? - Should I? 631 00:44:29,033 --> 00:44:30,227 Yeah. 632 00:44:31,235 --> 00:44:32,634 (Victoria) Definitely. 633 00:44:32,670 --> 00:44:34,570 - It's not a coincidence, is it? - No. 634 00:44:35,939 --> 00:44:40,000 This is his back garden. I mean, no one else would know it was here. 635 00:44:40,044 --> 00:44:42,308 I'm convinced. Look. 636 00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:45,315 There's the statue, there's the tree. 637 00:44:52,923 --> 00:44:54,857 I think we've cracked it, Toby. 638 00:45:04,001 --> 00:45:06,731 Beckwith, I believe these are yours. 639 00:45:06,770 --> 00:45:09,102 Oh, tiresome little man, we've done all this. 640 00:45:09,139 --> 00:45:11,107 Mr. Rowlands, right? 641 00:45:11,141 --> 00:45:14,668 This is his back garden. This view can't be seen from anywhere else. 642 00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:16,942 - The tree and the statue. - Oh, really? 643 00:45:16,980 --> 00:45:21,883 I suppose I put them into the auction so you could pop along and identify them. 644 00:45:21,919 --> 00:45:25,047 Mr. Beckwith, who said anything about an auction? 645 00:45:26,490 --> 00:45:30,620 That's right. Deborah bought them. She never mentioned an auction. 646 00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:34,459 Oh, all right. 647 00:45:34,498 --> 00:45:36,466 I painted them. I admit it. 648 00:45:38,469 --> 00:45:41,063 - It's not a crime, is it? - Of course not. 649 00:45:42,906 --> 00:45:46,273 40 years of craft, for God's sakes. 650 00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:50,972 I won the Turner before these house painters were born. 651 00:45:52,116 --> 00:45:56,849 Stacking bricks in those days got you onto a building site, not into the Tate. 652 00:45:56,887 --> 00:46:00,687 - I'm on your side, Lionel. - I was just trying to drum up some trade. 653 00:46:00,724 --> 00:46:03,625 I was trying to sell some more canvases. 654 00:46:03,660 --> 00:46:06,686 It's good. Very good. What's good for you is very good for me. 655 00:46:06,730 --> 00:46:09,358 What would you say they're worth now, Mr. Rowlands? 656 00:46:09,399 --> 00:46:11,094 I mean, now they're quite famous. 657 00:46:12,636 --> 00:46:15,867 Well, off the top, I'd say 4,000 a piece, 658 00:46:15,906 --> 00:46:19,342 - wouldn't you, Lionel? - I don't see why not? 659 00:46:21,111 --> 00:46:23,909 - Sell them for me. - For you. 660 00:46:23,947 --> 00:46:25,938 - But they're mine. - No they're not. 661 00:46:25,983 --> 00:46:29,180 They're mine. Remember the auction? Still got the sale ticket. 662 00:46:29,219 --> 00:46:31,551 But you only paid 12 quid for them. 663 00:46:31,588 --> 00:46:33,681 I know. Hell of a bargain. 664 00:46:34,558 --> 00:46:37,322 - There's also damages? - (Beckwith) What? 665 00:46:38,128 --> 00:46:40,062 My solicitor, Ed Carr. 666 00:46:40,097 --> 00:46:42,395 Carr, Palmer and Huntley. 667 00:46:42,432 --> 00:46:44,923 Yes, slander, in front of witnesses. 668 00:46:44,968 --> 00:46:46,162 What slander? 669 00:46:46,203 --> 00:46:49,229 You defamed Lovejoy's professional standing. 670 00:46:49,273 --> 00:46:52,208 Defamation injurious to professional reputation. 671 00:46:52,242 --> 00:46:54,938 It isn't a criminal offence but it's the High Court. 672 00:46:54,978 --> 00:46:58,311 Judge, jury, finger bowls. 673 00:47:02,486 --> 00:47:04,477 Does it have to go to court? 674 00:47:05,856 --> 00:47:07,721 - Settle out of court? - How much? 675 00:47:11,161 --> 00:47:15,222 Um... that much. 676 00:47:15,966 --> 00:47:17,433 (Beckwith) That much? 677 00:47:17,467 --> 00:47:20,300 But that's £35,000. 678 00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:23,067 That's exactly the sum we had in mind. 679 00:47:27,444 --> 00:47:31,039 Lovejoy, there's a corporate development you don't know about. 680 00:47:31,081 --> 00:47:32,070 Pray tell. 681 00:47:32,115 --> 00:47:35,050 - Elsie Barratt. - The lady who didn't die. 682 00:47:35,085 --> 00:47:38,316 She called us. She had a piece of antique furniture in an outhouse. 683 00:47:38,355 --> 00:47:41,324 - Old privy, actually. - She asked if we'd sell it for her. 684 00:47:41,358 --> 00:47:44,088 - What is it? - Secretaire bookcase. 685 00:47:44,127 --> 00:47:47,392 - George III. - Mahogany. Cuban, we thought. 686 00:47:47,431 --> 00:47:49,262 - I thought. - Tinker thought. 687 00:47:50,334 --> 00:47:51,961 We had it valued at 3,500 688 00:47:52,002 --> 00:47:53,936 and we split it with her. 689 00:47:53,971 --> 00:47:55,495 You've sold it already? 690 00:47:55,539 --> 00:48:00,476 Yes, to the Dalrymples. Remember them? The lady you hooked on Sheraton? 691 00:48:00,510 --> 00:48:04,571 - Well, they like it and it looks a treat. - Smashing. 692 00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:07,812 So you see, we've all been busy. 693 00:48:07,851 --> 00:48:11,150 - I think you're all terrific. - Thank you. 694 00:48:11,188 --> 00:48:13,656 Pity about the Beckwiths, all that good work wasted. 695 00:48:13,690 --> 00:48:16,853 - Made us all look stupid. - Speaking of Beckwiths... 696 00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:22,924 Now the Dalrymples, they're really heavily into oils, aren't they, Janey? 697 00:48:22,966 --> 00:48:25,196 They should take a look at this. 698 00:48:25,235 --> 00:48:27,362 - That's a Beckwith. - Yes. 699 00:48:27,404 --> 00:48:30,168 - It's a nice one. - Isn't it a nice one, Tinker? 700 00:48:30,207 --> 00:48:33,665 - How? - Explanations later. Stick this in the till, Eric. 701 00:48:37,114 --> 00:48:38,581 £12,000. 702 00:48:38,615 --> 00:48:41,516 - What's that for? - The Beckwiths. 703 00:48:41,551 --> 00:48:44,952 - You mean, the Beckwiths that aren't? - No, the Beckwiths that are. 704 00:48:44,988 --> 00:48:48,822 He admitted he did them. I flogged them to the gallery showing the exhibition. 705 00:48:48,859 --> 00:48:50,850 (Eric) So you were right all the time. 706 00:48:50,894 --> 00:48:52,759 Well, did one ever doubt one? 707 00:48:53,797 --> 00:48:55,788 4,000 a piece, Eric. 708 00:48:57,367 --> 00:49:00,700 Well, then, we're 4,000 down. It should be 16,000, not 12,000. 709 00:49:00,737 --> 00:49:06,232 No, no, no, I owed Deborah 1500, right? And another 1,000 for ruining her party, etc. 710 00:49:08,278 --> 00:49:09,973 Well, then, we're still 1500 down. 711 00:49:12,316 --> 00:49:14,113 Come with me, Eric. 712 00:49:14,151 --> 00:49:16,881 - This is ridiculous. - Keep those eyes closed, Eric. 713 00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,514 - What's going on? - Eric, faith. 714 00:49:19,556 --> 00:49:21,148 Keep him coming, Tink. 715 00:49:21,191 --> 00:49:23,182 - What's going on? - Trust your friends. 716 00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:26,117 Open 'em. 717 00:49:27,931 --> 00:49:30,525 A Harley! Wow! 718 00:49:31,601 --> 00:49:33,262 Is it for me? 719 00:49:33,904 --> 00:49:35,667 Oh, Lovejoy. 720 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:40,737 - Don't forget we have a house to furnish. - That's not till the 24th. 721 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:44,106 The 14th! 722 00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:55,424 Hey!